December

I feel…

Left out. My friends would rather talk to a particular few friends about the life than me. Had to scoot a few seats over just so they could sit closer. Tried my hardest to ignore all the giggles and whispers. I might as well just stay home. Alone in my room.

Sad. That my character pushed everyone away. I get it now. Should just stay quiet unless spoken to. My contributions to any conversations are not wanted. I don’t like it when people act the way they do when they’re close like call each other names whatsoever but I myself can’t control everything that comes out of my mouth.

Lonely. Does that mean all my friends are just acquaintances? No one really gets me… I’m either at school, work, home or with my boyfriend. I’m either too weird / awkward / annoying and the list goes on.

Is this why my social circle is dwindling and I can’t make any friends?

I can’t even maintain my relationships with my family. FML. Really, just fuck my life. I’m trash. I’m a waste of space and resources. I’m done. Time to just be a wallflower or nothing.

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Pads to Tampons

I was getting worried that I might have my period during the upcoming KL.

I wasn’t looking forward to that because having to find a toilet and change pads would be a huge hassle. Maybe it was time for me to try using tampons instead of pads.

I decided get the Tampax brand because they were having a sale at Fair price. 1 box for $12+ and 2 boxes for 16+. Each box contains 18 tampons with plastic applicators for easier insertion.

Having never used tampons before made me a little bit nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. Will it hurt? How is the plastic applicators any different? Toxic shock syndrome?? O.o

Ended up reading these two useful links which strengthened my resolve to try.

1) http://youngwomenshealth.org/2012/09/27/tampons/

2) https://tampax.com/en-us/tips-and-advice/my-first-tampon/how-to-insert-a-tampon

However, it was very nerve-racking. I could hardly stay calm which didn’t help because I could only insert 1/4 of the tampon.

In the end, I gave up after 5 tries.

Maybe, I’ll get it right the next time.

Friends

Are we? I don’t know.

It seems like I just can’t seem to connect with anyone anymore. There seems to be a mental block and I feel as though I’m still holding out for you despite all these years.

It doesn’t matter how long it has been since we last met, we can talk about anything under the sun. Enthusiastically. Without skipping a beat. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes turning into hours. Then I find myself prying myself away from you unwillingly, unsure of when we’ll meet again.

It’s hard. It’s hard to get hold of you be it in person or through text. Even for just a few minutes. You seem so busy nowadays, always spending time with someone else. You have your own best friends and I doubt that I can even call myself one.

I even built a love hate relationship with you in my own mind but when we finally manage to spend some time together, just the two of us, I just wish time would go by slower so that I could savour the moment.

I know I can’t connect with you the same way you can with other people who seems to understand you. You probably bring more to the table than I do. Yet, why can’t I let you go?

Goodbye for now and may we cross paths again in the future whenever you decide to do so.

Right now, I’ll just make do with what I have despite feeling pretty detached with the situation that doesn’t really allow for much else. I just hope things will improve.

Let’s explore the whole of Singapore!

On 5th August 2017, my family and I decided to go on an outing on our motorbikes. We had no particular plan in mind. Just…. Maybe have a meal here and there, relax somewhere and check out Decathlon at Bedok.

Coincidentally, we travelled around Singapore, always taking the route closest to the water and skipping the centre.

From…. Yishun – Changi Village – Changi Beach Park – Decathlon (Bedok) – Mr Teh Tarik (near Joo Chiat Complex) and finally, Home.

I wish I could have more trips like this. It was definitely an eye-opener to see the other side of Singapore and to improve my riding skills.

I also found out that my riding skills are atrocious; u-turn without using any brakes, both legs on the ground whenever possible or scared, etc.

Challenge: Ride without putting my right leg down unnecessarily.

Hopefully, I’ll be a better rider before next March when I’m finally able to take up my class 2A license.

Poppy Pops at JEM

Dan & I finally decided to pull the trigger and check out the new cafe located at the rooftop of JEM at Jurong East.

It’s called Poppy Pops and the shop has full length glass windows & doors so naturally, we got curious.

I took a quick glance at the menu and decided to just grab a popsicle for our first trip here. We got the Lemon & Blueberry popsicle!

Each popsicle comes with 1 topping and 1 coating. I chose fruity pebbles & white chocolate.

There was also the option to either drizzle the popsicle with white chocolate or coat half of it diagonally. I personally think drizzling it would have been a better option because coating it will actually make it a little harder to eat due to the coating sliding around as the ice cream melts when we’re eating it.

Overall, we would definitely come back here to try out the other popsicle flavours.

Total damage: $4.80

Every 3rd, 08:08

On the 3rd of every month is actually our monthsary ever since we got together in October 2010.

It doesn’t always have to be a fancy celebration; we’re happy to just have a simple date where we spend the whole day with each other having a meal together, exploring, relaxing and maybe even catch a movie or go for a walk in a park.

Today, we decided to grab breakfast at Marsiling. I had some really good mee soto while you had some mee rebus.

I know you have been wanting for us to have breakfast here for some time but I keep waking up or going out later than expected resulting in us changing our plans.

However, today is the day!

Afterwards, we made our was to Woodlands to tinker with my laptop but we came across some unexpected tech problems on my new laptop. You, being you, managed to troubleshoot and solve the issue in no time. You’re awesome sayang! 😀

We even managed to catch The Dark Tower movie. And damnnnn, maybe I should start reading the book series.

I had a really great day with you sayang. Here’s to more dates in the future (: I love you so much, Danial Durrani ❤

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