I don’t know why I worry so much.

I’m worried that I might make a mistake. 1 mistake. A tiny mistake. Any mistake at all.

I’m worried that things might not go as planned or as I anticipated. I don’t like doing something without researching or being very sure with my decision despite thinking of myself as a very happy-go-lucky and go-with-the-flow kind of person a few years ago.

I’m worried about what others might think of me. How I look. How I react to them. What I say or do. Whether they like me or not. I know I’m socially awkward and being someone who doesn’t smoke, be active in sports or go out much doesn’t really help me in the social scene.

I’m worried that I might regret my decisions. I have always thought of what I should have done back then instead. I should have joined dance earlier. I should have started playing sports and being more active back then. I should have “glo-ed” up faster. And a million other things.

Am I making the right decisions now that will affect how my life with be in the future? Is this the best course of action for me? Will I even be able to get a job with a Degree in Hospitality Business that is centralised in Singapore? Should I eat this? Can I not work out? Why am I doing this?

Why? What is the meaning of life? I only have to this one life and I want to make it right but I must never forget to live a life worth living. Like my SO once said, “Live like there is no tomorrow but make sure you will still have enough savings to support yourself in the future in case anything happens”, NOT his exact words but…. roughly that, in my own words.